Wife 1.0 Tech Support!
Credit: Anonymous E-Mail **
Here is a very interesting object lesson from the
technical support e-mail exchange!
To: Technical Support
Subject: Software Problems
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space
and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the
product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs
and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system
activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5
and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some
of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend
7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me?!?!?!?
From: Technical Support
Subject: Software Problems
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT
program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator
to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system
would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is
impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once
installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed
to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with
more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under
"Warnings/Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just
deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest
you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).
You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur,
regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the
command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case, avoid excessive use of the Esc key
because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly
as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program,
but it requires very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software
to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1, TLC 1.0,
and surely Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances, install Secretary
With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is
likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck from Tech Support!
** Contributed to this Website by Pastor Jack Little. Thanks Jack!! **
** I hope a lot of people see this and wake up and revive their homelife!!**